When planning a wedding, it’s common for tensions to become very high.
There are some topics which are natural areas of contention, and to avoid conflict.
It’s important to identify these topics and handle them appropriately. Keep an eye on these areas so that they don’t become a wedge between you and your partner before your big day.
1. Financial Matters
Whether it’s the perfect dress for you or the perfect venue for your partner, the bottom line is that when it comes to the wedding budget, you’re going to have to learn to compromise.
Keep in mind that the wedding is just a single event. The important aspect of it is that you’re beginning your life together.
It’s not all about having everything be absolutely perfect, but more about understanding one another and being willing to compromise, which is an essential skill for a successful marriage.
2. Family Matters
It can seem that you have a never-ending list of relatives that excel at causing trouble. From a meddlesome mother-in-law to a cousin who doesn’t know the meaning of the word “no,” family can cause some of the biggest problems when you’re planning a wedding.
Keep in mind that your partner’s family is just as important to them as yours is to you. Try to avoid making waves and embrace your new family as an actual part of your family, instead of looking at them as a nuisance that comes along with your partner.
3. Attention Matters
The point of planning a wedding together is that you’ll both be responsible. If you feel like your partner isn’t keeping up with their responsibilities, have a conversation about it as soon as possible. Don’t leave it to the last minute and then start flinging accusations about what didn’t get done.
Keep in mind that you’ll be working together and communication is a key part of a partnership, whether planning a wedding or functioning as a married couple. You should be able to discuss any issues with your partner and iron out any differences if you’re both willing to openly communicate and compromise.
This skill of communicating will come in handy throughout your life together. From raising children to planning your retirement, communication is a key part of building a life together.
4. Future Matters
Prenuptial agreements are becoming commonplace, even among couples of very limited means. While some couples feel that a “pre-nup” lacks romance and indicates a lack of trust in the relationship, the truth is that it’s important to protect yourself and your partner should the worst happen and your marriage fails. Looking at this topic in an unemotional and logical way is ideal for making the best decisions regarding any agreement.
Keep in mind that your partner may feel threatened or hurt when this subject is broached, but if you’re planning a wedding, you should be able to discuss these matters in an adult manner. Prenuptial agreements aren’t a sign of distrust; they’re protection for both of you against unforeseen circumstances.
5. Past Matters
It can be a sticky situation to want to include someone from a past relationship in the celebration of your marriage, but this is becoming a far more common situation as people wait longer to get married and have a number of significant relationships before tying the knot. If there is someone from the past you’d like to include in your big day, communicating with your partner about it is essential.
Keep in mind that this is your partner’s big day, too. If they’re absolutely set against one of your exes coming to the wedding, you should respect their wishes. If you find yourself having a hard time doing so, try to imagine if they wanted to invite one of their exes, and it made you very uncomfortable. Wouldn’t you expect them to accede to your wishes in that case?
Remember, you’re getting married. If the past causes too many problems, don’t bring it into your future…at least not on your wedding day. This is another situation where compromise and communication are very useful.