No matter how hard everyone tries, when you’re planning a wedding, there’s always room for conflict. Your parents may have specific ideas about your wedding, or you may find that people you were depending on aren’t meeting your expectations. There may be different ideas between you and your future spouse about how you each want the wedding to be handled. There are lots of opportunities for conflict when you’re planning a wedding, but that also means there are plenty of opportunities to learn the value of meeting in the middle.
1. Those Last-Minute Things
You’ve been planning your wedding for months and have everything just nearly completed. You can finally see the light at the end of the wedding planning tunnel. Then, your sister calls and asks you to reconfigure the seating chart that you spent months getting exactly right because she’s got a new boyfriend and she just has to bring him. Maybe your great-aunt has been meaning to tell you that you’ve simply got to change your venue to the family church.
Whatever the case, there are going to be last-minutes requests to change your plans. This is a golden opportunity to practice meeting in the middle, but it’s important to remember that ultimately, these plans are about your wedding and your wishes should be the most important consideration for any plan changes. When it comes to unreasonable requests or things you just can’t budge on, it’s important for both of you to stand together in a united front and handle turning down those requests with grace and tact.
If it’s your fiancé who is requesting a change, you both need to sit down privately and discuss some options for meeting in the middle, and then agree on a compromise.
2. Ground Rules
Setting ground rules will help you determine when to try meeting in the middle and when to stand by your initial decision. Ground rules give you a reference point so that you don’t end up getting pushed into agreeing with plan changes that aren’t suited to you. Maintaining the balance between your family members is important too, though, so make sure to practice diplomacy whenever possible. Be fair; try to handle every situation with alacrity and good intentions. Dealing with conflicts in a cheerful and well-intentioned manner can help defuse major conflicts.
3. Expect and Deflect
When planning your wedding, expect that there will be conflicts and have a plan in place for deflecting family members who might take advantage of the situation to create more discord. Make sure you keep everyone focused on the fact that this is an occasion for joy and happiness, and that such familial complications could impinge on your contentment. Give them good reasons to be civil to one another and keep problem elements in your family as widely separated as possible.