With dating apps, fewer role models in today’s society, and women being empowered and making more first moves, it’s little surprise that many men have no idea how to be a gentleman.
Not to worry, we’re here to help you unleash the gentleman within. All it takes is the right frame of mind and a few simple steps that you can work into your everyday life. Make no mistake, this absolutely should be worked into your everyday life but, at the very least, your wedding day is an absolute must.
1.Choose a hero
Like many things in life, learning how to be a man and showcasing the gentlemen within is much easier when you have a mentor to guide you. This can be a real life person or a character like Don Quixote. This mentor can be subtle or overly dramatic about being a gentleman. Although there are many factors, the winning characteristic of an appropriate mentor is someone who always does the right thing, even when no one is watching.
2. Adjust your attitude
Being a gentleman results in genuinely caring about others. You’ll see past the superficial things you didn’t like about them before and realize that they’re people, just like you. You’ll want to help them when you can, and give them their space when you can’t. In short, you’ll offer them respect.
3. Look the part
Not everyone can afford to wear a James Bond style tuxedo on a regular basis, but you should at least look like you care. Put effort into clean clothes without wrinkles and avoid tacky Ts with funny slogans. More importantly, stand up straight and be proud of who you are. Even pajama pants can look classy if you wear the right attitude.
4. Clean up your act
You can’t underestimate the power of good hygiene. Your hairstyle is your choice. You should keep it clean but we’re not about to suggest that the only way to be a gentleman is with a 50’s style haircut. But, trim your nails, wear deoderant, and brush your teeth. This takes little effort, doesn’t affect your personal style, and tells the world that you’re making an effort to be the best version of you that you can be.
5. Take action
A true gentleman actively tries to make the world a better place. This doesn’t mean we’re expecting you to become an activist, but we do expect you to go out of your way to make other people’s days better. Tell your coworker what a good job they did today. Tell a stranger that it’s impressive they’re reading a book on the subway.
6. Be vigilant
Teach others how to be a man while you’re at it. Without fail, you’ll witness someone mistreating others. A gentleman speaks up and tries to prevent this from happening. This can sometimes be socially – or even physically scary – but remember, with enough gentlemen out there villains have no recourse.
7. Be a role model
This is especially important for gentlemen with daughters. Show little girls how women ought to be treated so that they grow up with the right expectations. Show little boys how to act so they can earn the love of a good woman once they grow up.
8. Pay attention to the little things
When out with a lady, hold the door. Pull out her seat, walk down the sidewalk standing closer to the street, and keep the cursing to yourself. Superficially this may seem cheesy, but what you’re really doing is showing her that she’s your priority. You care how she feels and you’ll make sure she knows it.
We mentioned it before, but this must be stressed. The true stamp of a gentleman makes a lady realize just how valued she is. Don’t talk over her, don’t undermine her, and don’t focus on yourself. You don’t have to pretend to be into all the things she’s into, and you don’t have to hide who you really are. In fact, pure honesty is a big part of being respectful. Simply give her the same respect as you give yourself.
Learning how to be a gentleman isn’t a sacrifice that you make, it’s a series of behaviors that inevitably result in a better life. Your social life will be more enjoyable. Your professional life will be more successful. Also, your love life will be more fruitful. Your family life will be more powerful. How? You’ll naturally focus on the positives things life has to offer and stop noticing the negatives. Why? Because you respect them, and they respect you.