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Funny Wedding Ceremony Script Samples For Perfect Ceremony

WeddingForward

A funny wedding ceremony script can turn your day into one that is so unforgettable. Yet the problem lies in creating the perfect funny wedding script without resorting to dark humor. The regular traditional and religious wedding script has a skeleton that serves as guidelines. But for the funny script, it gets creative from the wedding officiant speech, and down to close. So, for your simple wedding ceremony of all types, see below funny wedding scripts ideas.

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Funny Marriage Ceremony Script For Traditional Wedding

This is a wedding ceremony script that has been for ages, but with a twist. You could make the vows or ring exchange wording funny.

Welcome

Officiant: Everyone please sit.
First, I’d like to begin by welcoming everyone and thanking every one of you for being here on this happiest of days. It’s no accident that each of you is here today, and each of you was invited to be here because you represent someone important in the individual and collective lives of NAME and NAME.

I truly can’t think of a better venue than _________ [“paradise” for a destination wedding, “this beautiful church” for a more religious affair, etc.] for an occasion that I know is not only monumental for the wedded-couple-to-be, but for all of us who are lucky to know and love them as individuals; but even more so as a perfect pairing.

The most remarkable moment in life is when you meet the person who makes you feel complete. The person who makes the world a beautiful and magical place. The person with whom you share a bond so special that it transcends normal relationships and becomes something so pure and so wonderful, that you can’t imagine spending another day of your life without them. For NAME, that happened about 20 years ago when s/he met me and we became best friends [add some humor if your officiant is a friend]. But about X years ago s/he met NAME, who is pretty wonderful, too. I know how deeply these two care for and love one another, and I feel privileged to be here today among all of you as a witness of their commitment to a lifetime of love for one another.

I think I’ve had the good fortune to meet most of you here today at some point or another, but for those of you whom I haven’t met, my name is [short biographical info about how the officiant knows the couple].

The Love Story

Officiant: Now, NAME and NAME have asked that I keep this speech short, classy, and family-friendly, and politely asked me to leave out stories that are unflattering to either of them. So I’ve had to redline stories about previous flings…drugs or alcohol…encounters with the police…but I do feel comfortable saying, “I told you so.” Which is exactly what I said when I learned that NAME and NAME’s relationship was becoming truly serious.

As a third-party spectator to their developing love, it was extremely clear that the two of them represent a perfect pairing because each of them complements the other so well. They balance one another, and while each of them are tremendous individuals on their own, together they are even better. And being better together, as a team, a unit, and partners in crime, is what has been many years in the making and ultimately leads us to being here today, witnessing their commitment to one another in front of those they love most.

I wish I could tell you a single story about NAME and NAME that summarizes their relationship and how they enrich each other’s lives, and the lives of each of us, but the truth is there isn’t one single event that is a good encapsulation of what they mean to me, to each other and all of us. But what I do know is that both of them care deeply and passionately for each other; they protect each other; they make each other laugh and think outside themselves; that time magically seems to both fly and slow down when they’re together. They help each other in ways that are obvious and unnoticed but always appreciated.

I also know that it’s not just anyone with whom you can have communication with simply a look, or remember the weirdest names of each other’s lift drivers, or surprise each other with reservations at a restaurant you’ve been eyeing for years, or say “I’m sorry” every time it’s warranted (…eventually). They do that for and with each other.

But it’s also my personal experiences with NAME and NAME that highlight the quality of their love. It doesn’t matter if I’m with them in person, or simply in a bizarre group text with them—when I’m engaging with NAME and NAME, I am always enjoying myself. And I am certain that that’s part of what makes them so special to each of us: how happy and contented we feel when we are with them. And what I wish for them on their wedding day is that their life together as a team is one of complete contentment; full of those moments that they wish would never end, and that they continue to make one another smile and laugh as they make each of us do.

The Vows

Dearly beloved and honored guests:
We are gathered together here to join NAME and NAME in the union of marriage.
This contract is not to be entered into lightly, but thoughtfully and seriously, and with a deep realization of its obligations and responsibilities.
The grooms/brides/bride and groom have each prepared vows that they will read now.

[Exchanging of vows]

Officiant: And now:
NAME, do you take NAME to be your husband/wife?
Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect him/her, forsaking all others, and holding only unto him/her forevermore?
[“I do.”]
And NAME, do you take NAME to be your husband/wife?
Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect him/her, forsaking all others, and holding only unto him/her forevermore?
[“I do.”]

The Rings

Officiant: NAME and NAME will now exchange rings as a symbol of love and commitment to each other. Rings are a precious metal; they are also made precious by you wearing them. Your wedding rings are special; they enhance who you are. They mark the beginning of your long journey together. Your wedding ring is a circle—a symbol of love never-ending. It is the seal of the vows you have just taken to love each other without end.
NAME, please place the ring on NAME’s left hand and repeat after me:

As a sign of my love
That I have chosen you
Above all else
With this ring, I thee wed.
And NAME, please place the ring on NAME’s left hand and repeat after me:
As a sign of my love
That I have chosen you
Above all else
With this ring, I thee wed.

The Good Wishes

Officiant: To make your relationship work will take love. Continue to date each other. Take time to show each other that your love and marriage grows stronger with time.
It will take trust to know that in your hearts, you truly want what is best for each other.
It will take dedication to stay open to one another—and to learn and grow together.
It will take loyalty to go forward together, without knowing exactly what the future brings.
And it will take commitment to hold true to the journey you have both pledged today.

The Declaration of Marriage / The Kiss

Officiant: And now by the power vested in me by _______________, it is my honor and delight to declare you married. Go forth and live each day to the fullest. You may seal this declaration with a kiss.
I am so pleased to present the newlyweds, NAMES.

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Wedding Ceremony Script For A Non-Religious Ceremony

A wedding script non-religious funny type is formal yet humorous. The wedding sermons are traditional without faith mentioned.

Opening

We are gathered here today to celebrate one of life’s greatest moments, the joining of two hearts. In this ceremony today we will witness the joining GROOM/BRIDE and GROOM/BRIDE in marriage.
Today we have come together to witness the joining of these two lives. For them, out of the routine of ordinary life, the extraordinary has happened. They met each other, fell in love and are finalizing it with their wedding today. Romance is fun, but true love is something far more and it is their desire to love each other for life and that is what we are celebrating here today.
But today is also a celebration for the rest of us, for it is a pleasure for us to see the love in bloom, and to participate in the union of two people so delightfully suited to one another. And to have a couple of cocktails in the process.
So let’s get on with it already!

Words of Wisdom

A good marriage must be created.
In marriage, the “little” things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say, “I love you” at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is standing together and facing the world.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is not only marrying the right person — it is being the right partner

Vows

Face each other and hold hands (repeat after me)
I, GROOM/BRIDE take you GROOM/BRIDE to be my husband/wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever.
I will trust you and honor you
I will laugh with you and cry with you.
I will love you faithfully
Through the best and the worst,
Through the difficult and the easy.
Whatever may come I will always be there.
As I have given you my hand to hold
So I give you my life to keep

GROOM/BRIDE AND GROOM/BRIDE I would ask that you always treat yourself and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together today.

Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness, and kindness that your marriage deserves. When frustration and difficulty assail your marriage – as they do to every relationship at one time or another – focus on what still seems right between you, not only the part that seems wrong.
This way, when clouds of trouble hide the sun in your lives and you lose sight of it for a moment, you can remember that the sun is still there. And if each of you will take responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and happiness.

I Do’s

GROOM/BRIDE do you take GROOM/BRIDE to be your awful wedded Husband/Wife? (“I do”)
Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him/her, and be faithful to him/her? (“I do”)
Do you promise to take out the trash and pick up your clothes off the floor? (“I do”)
And do you promise to love him/her even when he/she is cranky (“I do”)

GROOM/BRIDE do you take GROOM/BRIDE to be your awful wedded Husband/Wife? (“I do”)
Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him/her, and be faithful to him/her? (“I do”)
Do you promise not to whine at him/her when he/she forgets to take out the trash or pick up his clothes from the floor? (“I do”)
And do you promise to love him/her after he/she has been out all night with the boys/girls? (“I do”)

Ring Exchange (who has the rings) (repeat after me)

There are 3 rings of marriage. The wedding ring, The Engagement ring, and the suffering. We hope the latter can be held to a minimum.
I GROOM/BRIDE, take thee, GROOM/BRIDE to be my Husband/Wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and sorrow, and I promise My love to you. And with this ring, I take you as my Husband/Wife, for as long as we both shall live.

Closing Comments

To make your relationship work will take love. This is the core of your marriage and why you are here today.
It will take trust, to know, that in your hearts, you truly want what is best for each other.
It will take dedication, to stay open to one another – and to learn and grow together.
It will take faith, to go forward together, without knowing exactly what the future brings.
And it will take commitment, to hold true to the journey you both have pledged to today.
By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you . . . . . .

The Kiss

You may kiss your HUSBAND/WIFE.
I would like to introduce the happy couple

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Best Wedding Officiant Speech

A funny wedding officiant speech combines funny wedding sermons for laughs. See one of the best funny wedding officiant speech ideas.

Welcome everyone!

On this beautiful day, _______ and _______ have brought us together to celebrate their love and union in matrimony. Thank you all for joining us and being a part of their love story. _______ and _______ also wanted to thank _______ and _______, who are sitting in the front row, for blessing this union and always being an example of unconditional, pure love.

After years of nurturing a beautiful, strong relationship, it’s great to see these two tying the knot and taking the next step towards building a family. If you’ve had the fortune that I have, you have witnessed _______ and _______ meet, from a rom-com worthy friendship to falling deeply in love.

I remember the day _______ told me about their first date. There was a light in her eyes that I’d never seen before. She was excited and nervous. She worried that ______ didn’t feel the same connection she felt. Little did she know that _______ was already calling her “the one?”

It warms my heart to see the way _______ looks at _______. He looks at her as if she’s the last and only woman on Earth, and to him, I know she is. I’ve seen these two be there for each other through life’s unexpected twists and turns, only growing closer and stronger from each setback. I’ve seen them share laughs, collect a library of inside jokes and most shocking of all, I’ve seen _______ share her desserts with _______, which is when I knew this was serious.

Marriage isn’t easy but I trust these two. I have trust in their love, their friendship, and their commitment to one another. I know they’ll be there for each other, I know they’ll be loyal, and I know they’ll spend the rest of their lives growing and learning from one another. With that, I think it’s time to let them speak on their love.

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Ring Exchange Wording Funny Samples

It is beautiful to make your ring exchange wording funny. This portrays heart and humor at for the wedding ceremony.

  • “I give you this ring as a visible and constant symbol of my promise to be with you. And in your face for as long as I live.”

  • “I give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you. Let it be a reminder that I am always by your side, sharing your stuff. And that I will always be a faithful partner to you.”

  • “(Name), I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always that you are surrounded by my enduring love. And you’re stuck with me forever.”

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Funny Wedding Ceremony Vows

When you personalize your wedding ceremony vows, they become evergreen. Borrow something from our samples below.

  • “I, take you (insert fiancé’s name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, for even poorer when I’ve been shopping, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”

  • “In front of our friends and family gathered here, I promise to love and cherish you in good times and in bad. I promise to put down the toilet seat – and to replace the toilet roll when it’s over and to never, ever, ever forget our wedding anniversary or your birthday.”

  • “I promise to love you as much as I do our dog. From this day forward, I will lint roll the chairs whenever your parents visit. I will love you in sickness and in health, as long as you take care of the vet visits. I promise to cuddle you as much as I do (pet’s name) and pick up treats for you whenever he gets some too.”

Couples are stepping out of the box and making their wedding scripts modern. They incorporate a funny wedding script into religious, non-religious, and even traditional scripts. Preparing the best wedding officiant speech, vows and ring wordings are not left out. Make your wedding stay in the memories of guests by adding some humor. Take a cue from our script samples above and shine on your day.

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