35 Funny Wedding Vows For Your Unique Ceremony

Photo by

rebeccayale via Instagram

Truth is that getting married and saying wedding vows is a serious affair, as promises of a lifetime are made. Yet, a wedding void of the couple’s personal touch, style, personality, and some laughter is just another tension-filled day. So to make the day a little lighthearted, couples now incorporate funny wedding vows into their big day.


But can we ascertain the right balance between romance and humor as regards hilarious wedding vows? Write yours or borrow, go non-traditional or vow renewal, we’ve helped you create that balance with some examples and tips.

Brides often ask:

Is it OK to read your wedding vows?

While many would love to memorize their vows, it is a great idea to have your vows written and on hand just in case. It is okay to read out your wedding vows if you forget a few words or are unable to memorize them.

Can you get married without saying vows?

You cannot get married without saying your vows. Whether you are making traditional or unique funny wedding vows, it is important to recite your vows to make your marriage official.


Funny Wedding Vows For Him

Funny wedding vows for him are your vows to him. In sweet, romantic, yet hilarious words, you tell him how much he means to you. Now, this can pose a challenge, especially if you intend writing your wedding vows.

Think about those attributes that attracted you to him, if there are fun ways he does things and all that. Include the mundane things you do together that makes your bond stronger. It could be that time both of you went to clean the attic and he ran for his life at the sight of a spider. These are pointers for him.

“I, _____, take you _____, to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, for even poorer when I’ve been shopping, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”

“I promise that you will be as important to me as coffee, as chocolate, and as all the episodes of Grey’s put together.”

“I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death do us apart or you turn into a zombie. Because then we’re going to have to start seeing other people.”

“I promise to tell you what you can pull off clotheswise and be honest when it’s just not working.”

“Now that we have gotten skinny for this wedding, let’s get real fat together.”


Funny Wedding Vows For Her

Funny wedding vows for her like the above are your vows to her. Your ability to get through to her depends on how deep your romantic funny wedding vows to her are. Think of her tastes, hobbies, mannerisms, music, food and more. Look within all these things and you will find where the humor is.

Is she dramatic? Is there a funny way she gesticulates when she is quite pissed? Is there a movie she has forced you to watch for the 100th time, and she cries at the end? These are the little things that make heartfelt vows for her.

“I promise to hold off secretly watching episodes on Netflix we are watching together until we are actually together.”

“I want us to grow old and crusty together, to shake our collective fists at teenagers, and to talk endlessly about the old days when things were better, cheaper, and generally more wholesome.”

“I promise to always respect your choice of music in the car when you are driving. If you are not driving, however…”

“In front of our friends and family gathered here, I promise to love and cherish you in good times and in bad. I promise to put down the toilet seat – and to replace the toilet roll when it’s over and to never, ever, ever forget our wedding anniversary or your birthday.”

“I promise to take out the garbage, even in the pouring rain or freezing cold.”


Non-Traditional Funny Vows

While many couples from way back love traditional wedding vows that scream, over, love and honor. Modern couples are opting for non-traditional vows that are fresh, personal and void of traditional undertones. Opting for humorous wedding vows that are non-traditional is the perfect tool to thaw a tensed ambiance. Step out of the conventional by taking advantage of the things in your life.

With exception to snide remarks or rude inside jokes, talk about your love journey. Infuse some humor, make sure your guests relate and make promises to your beloved at every stage. And there you have your vow.

“I want your worst—give me your bad hair days, your long commutes, your burnt coffee, lost keys, splashed shoes, annoying coworkers, lost receipts, broken copiers. Give me your everyday and I will give you my love to make it alright.”

“I promise to love and cherish you as much as I do our dog. From this day forward, I will lint roll the chairs whenever your parents visit. I will love you in sickness and in health, as long as you take care of the vet visits.”

“Let’s be dumb together — just plain stupid. Make bad choices, eat the wrong things, take wrong turns, and then let’s tell great stories, the same ones—for ever and ever until no one can stand us but each other.”

“I can’t wait to take your last name – I am going to totally steal your identity.”

“If you promise to kill the spiders, I’ll promise to make your lunch, if you take out the trash (and the dog at night), I will make the bed. And if you love me, I will love you.”


Funny Renewal Wedding Vows

With some years into marriage, both of you would have managed to gather memories for your vow renewal. This makes it easy to write your funny renewal wedding vows yes? This isn’t always the case, as it is quite an emotional one. But the best way out is to think of what living with your spouse has been like.
Pen down the things they do that drive you crazy, but make you laugh. Talk about their funny and sweet side. And if there are hilarious things that drive your love, talk about them too to lighten up your special day.

“I promise to remind you of our anniversary at least 2 days before. Because you don’t want to find out what happens if you forget an anniversary.”

“I promise that as your wife, I will not keep score, even though I am totally winning.”

“I promise to agree that you really are the best driver on the road and always know exactly where you’re going.”

“I promise to love you as much as I love shopping and to not hold your obsession with trainers against you.”

“I will pause the TV when you want to talk through neighbours and I will not complain when you check emails on your day off.”

How To Write Funny Wedding Vows

For your fun wedding vows to pack the right comedic punch, a few things are important. One of which is the ability to strike the tough balance between humor, romance, and sentimental sincerity. But remember that you are not a comedian of any sort, so do not overdo or push your luck.

You must master where and how to infuse humor to make funny wedding vows without making anyone uncomfortable. You’ll successfully create hilarious wedding vows if you follow the tips below.

  • Avoid one-liners, as they tend to come out flat and corny. Instead, create depth by making strong-worded and meaningful promises. In between these promises, insert humor.
  • Center your humorous wedding vows on a theme. You may choose to talk about the dreams both of you have, his thoughtfulness, and his care for you, etc. Choose something you want to convey to him.
  • Do you have nicknames for each other? Start and close with it. Mind you, whatever you say is on record. So use only nicknames that are fit for the public and for the ears of your grandchildren.
  • Let your personality shine through, even as you say your vows.
  • Throw in some family jokes known to everyone.


Funny Wedding Vows From Movies

If you are movie buffs that enjoy a good laugh or two, you could get some inspiration for funny wedding vows to your husband or wife from movie classics. With so many to choose from, here are some of our favorite funny wedding vows from movies.

Rachel Getting Married

All that I ever wanted was to just hear music, and when I met you, I heard you. And, Rachel, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. Thank you for marrying me.

Wedding Crasher

I, Craig, take you, Christina, to be my wife, my best friend, and my first mate. Through sickness and health, clear skies, and squalls.

Runaway Bride

Look, I guarantee you that there will be tough times. But I also guarantee you that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.

Sex and the City 2

It was not exactly love at first sight. But it turns out, it was love. You are the first man to accept me… for the man that I actually am.

American Wedding

You are the one woman I want to be with, and the woman I can’t be without. I love you.

Funny Wedding Vows From Tv Shows

TV shows are a great way to pass the time, and it’s hard to resist our favorites. Sometimes you can even find hilarious and funny wedding vows in the most-watched TV Shows. Try on a few for size.

Grey’s Anatomy

To love each other, even when we hate each other. No running—ever. Nobody walks out no matter what happens. Take care when old, senile, or smelly. This is forever.” – From a Post-It Note by the couple.

Parks and Recreation

I guess I kind of hate most things, but I never really seem to hate you. So, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, is that cool?


You don’t ask me to come out of the shadows. You help me move away anything that’s blocking the sun. It’s time for all of us to walk into the sunshine together. Forever. Is that something you want to do?

How I Met Your Mother

I vow to always sit next to you and hug you, even if you’re covered in vomit, Whether it’s yours or Marvin’s, or in the case of what came to be known as Spew Year’s Eve 1998-My own.

The Big Bang Theory

Leonard, you’re not only the love of my life, you’re my best friend. And you’ve got a friend in me. You got troubles. I got ’em too. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. We stick together and we can see it through because you’ve got a friend in me.


Funny Wedding Vows From Books

Sometimes literature has the perfect words to express what we feel. If you’re finding it hard to write funny wedding vows, you could turn to some literary greats for inspiration. We’ve gathered a few you could consider.

Wuthering Heights, by Emily Brontë

He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same…my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger. I should not seem a part of it.

The Princess Bride by William Goldman

I have not known a moment in years when the sight of you did not send my heart careening against my rib cage. I have not known a night when your visage did not accompany me to sleep. There has not been a morning when you did not flutter behind my waking eyelids.

Adam Bede by George Eliot

What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life — to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?

Winnie the Pooh, by A.A Milne

If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together…there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart…I’ll always be with you.

Dr. Seuss

We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

In five categories, we have discussed funny wedding vows. Creating them is an art, and if you must wow everyone present, master it. We also dropped tips for writing humorous wedding vows. Read, learn, and get inspired by them.