Roles & Responsibilities Of Your Mom & Mother-In-Law


For the mothers of the couple, there are several responsibilities that fall to them according to wedding etiquette.  In order for your wedding and the events leading up to it to go as smoothly as possible, it’s important to let each mother know what their jobs are going to be, while also making sure you establish guidelines that will keep everyone from stepping on one another’s toes.  Here are some great tips for helping get the moms set up with their assigned duties.

1. Bride’s Mother

Wedding etiquette dictates that if your parents are contributing a substantial sum of money to your wedding, your mother is probably going to be more involved in the decision-making processes of your wedding than if they were contributing less.

Bride’s Mother, Continued…

One of her responsibilities is to be the main point of contact for the creative minds of your wedding, such as your entertainers, florist, baker, and others.  Help your mom be organized while dealing with your wedding details by making sure she has a complete list of the contacts she’ll need and get her a message/notebook specifically for noting wedding details.

Your mom should also be your go-to for any religious questions, as well as for your “Something Old” or “Something Borrowed.”  She’ll be responsible for planning your shower, but she does not have to host it.  If she wants that role, then wedding etiquette decrees that she has the first choice and supersedes anyone else who might want to take on the responsibilities.

Bride’s Mother, Continued…

According to wedding etiquette, your mother should allow you to lead decisions regarding the color of her dress, as well as how formal it is. After she’s bought her dress, then your groom’s mother will need to buy hers.  Your mother should contact his mother to describe the dress she’s chosen.

After you and your husband begin to dance the traditional first dance, the next couple to join you on the floor should be your parents.

2. Groom’s Mother

After your engagement, your fiancé’s parents should call yours. This call is used to set up a celebratory dinner in order to honor the couple, discuss wedding plans and become acquainted.

If the groom’s parents are contributing a considerable sum to the wedding, they may get more leeway, but typically the groom’s family should be following the lead of the bride’s family with regard to the number of invitees.  She’ll be responsible for contacting any of her invitees who have failed to RSVP.

Groom’s Mother, Continued…

The groom’s mother should be your information source for your groom’s family traditions and heritage should those be needed for the ceremony. Wedding etiquette also dictates that the groom’s parents host a dinner the night before the wedding, which should include any speeches or toasts that will not be heard during the reception.