The words “husband training” sound weird hearing anyone say it the first time. Most people think it is a punish-your-husband movement that’s to start. This is not the case, as it entails being your best to get the best out of your husband.
Truth is that to get a well-trained husband, you should understand the dynamics of how they think. Before they married you, they went through the training of a mother whose influence still abounds. Also, men tend to gravitate towards where their happiness is, and in the reverse, they react.
This reaction could be in the form of things that will hurt you, making you react. It then becomes a cycle of toxic reactions, and the quest to control husbands arises. Yet, you can have these men eating from your palms. Your man isn’t a dog, but we will show you how to train your husband.
Know Thine Husband
Before you go ahead discipline your husband, understand the kind of person he is. Biology class says humans are higher animals, and expert animal trainers will tell you the same. To get your animals malleable, you have to understand your species.
Individuals are different and have unique behaviors. So, is he an early riser or late sleeper? Is he the one who won’t let the T.V remote out of his sight?
Does he enjoy playing games? Does he sulk or talk about things instead?
Knowing your man will help you understand how he operates and his pain points. Understanding the species of your husband helps you know how and when to get your husband’s attention. It is as simple.
Use The Lure And Bait Tactics
We come to the first reason why we advise you know your husband. It is easy to apply the lure and bait tactics to train your man if you do. You’ll have a perfect understanding of what works for husband training.
The lure and bait tactics are the promises of getting this is if he does that. You bait them with the promise of getting certain luxuries or rewards if they do a task.
For your man, some rewards are not worth it while others are. So, you don’t lure with a not-so-great bait, because its potency is quite limited. Find that one thing they can’t do without, and it will always work.
Baby Steps, Order, And Patience
As the wife trains the husband, be sure not to overwhelm or confuse him. Knowing your man plays a great role in achieving this. Create a scale of preference when you need him to do something. Always start from the most important to the least important. This also helps keep him focused, as he will start from the most important task.
Do not change your mind mid-way by getting him to do something bigger. He’s learning to become a better partner, so baby steps only. If he accomplishes a task today, the extras are a bonus. Avoid raising the bar, as it will mean taking him for granted which is wrong.
Also, when he does a task like buying stuff, don’t tell him “he should’ve bought another”. This is the fastest way to make him retreat.
Avoid Shouting Or Nagging
Like we advised about, work with your man in baby steps. Appreciate a task he does right and when he doesn’t, don’t shout or nag. To be honest, nagging and shouting don’t work. If it is a situation that you can change, change it. If you can’t, ignore or overlook it.
But if you need your man to be an obedient husband, show affection instead. Getting your man to be a model partner is more about you than him. If you take a violent stance on the wrongdoings of your man, it will become a toxic cycle. Try affections and gentling instead.
Apply An Open-Minded Approach
One of the best ways to train your husband is with an open mind. Taking things personal in a marriage will turn you into this bitter person. As humans, it’s normal to think people we love do things targeted at us to hurt us. It may be a case of your spouse picking convenience over discipline.
You need to apply an open-minded approach, giving the benefit of the doubt. And like an animal trainer, a cool head is very important when dealing with your husband. It helps you more than it helps him. It helps you see the positive side of things, which helps you approach the matter in a humane manner.
Master The Art Of Ignoring Bad Behavior
Every response elicits a reactive response, whether positive or negative. So, if a certain bad behavior is consistent with your husband, rather than discipline your husband, ignore him. Most women get angry and punish their husbands, while others indulge their husbands.
With either of the two, he has your attention and will milk it to your fury. But when you ignore them, they will know that you are not interested in what they are doing. This makes the whole dirty behavior fizzle out on its own. For instance, if your husband is in the habit of dumping his briefcase anywhere, ignore it.
Allow him to search for it himself and he’ll know to keep it safe. Ignore!
Do Not Try To Dominate
A relationship based on dominating another person breeds fear and resentment. Dominating your husband is the fastest way to get them to revolt. They will resist you at some point and this will cause a chain of unpleasant events.
Most women want to bend their husbands to their will so bad that they go about it the wrong way. Rather than motivate your husband to do better, you snarl when he errs. You tell him it’s either your way or no way at all. He must take your route, take out the trash when you say and all that. Tread with care, and learn to encourage your man instead. He will be more receptive to you.
Learn To Apply Tact
If you’re thinking of how to get your husband to notice you or listen, apply tact. Wives often times pick the worst moments to air their grievance or seek attention. Your husband cannot find his car keys, and you remind him of his carelessness. He notices that his body wash is totally finished, and you remind him that if only he bought it yesterday.
Your husband is quite tired from work and you choose to tell him how he hurt you. Tact and timing are very important if you must get the best out of your partner. Avoid igniting a fire when he’s already stressed. And if he’s taking time out to rest, let him have it. Even animals have days off.
Reward Good Behavior
We talked about ignoring the bad behaviors of your husband. It makes turning a new leaf gradual but eventual. This is the same for good behavior which deserves a reward. When you make it a habit to encourage your man, he’d be glad to do more.
Remember the process of getting an obedient husband is a gradual one. So, he will take baby steps while you cheer him on. He takes out the trash today, gives him a hug, and says a big thank you. He gets the groceries, give him a wide smile. And if he wants an extra portion of food, with all pleasure.
Rewards breed motivation, which in turn makes them do more. They’d launch on a quest to be better because you appreciate all their little efforts and encourage them.
Become The Change You Want To See
We cannot talk about how to train your husband without focusing a bit on you. For every change, you desire in your husband, exhibit the same. Your husband isn’t a slave who lives for your pleasure only.
Relationships are partnerships where one compliments the other. If you desire a great man, an obedient husband, then be an obedient man. If you want a man who’s orderly, be orderly. Asking him to do things or act the way you don’t act will cause resistance.
If both of you are in the same behavioral space, the journey to spousal perfection will be easier. He can only imitate what he sees.
To be honest, we can’t exhaust all about husband training. But a cumulative of real experiences make up these essential tips. Our tips revolve around the golden rule of doing unto others… You know the rest.
If you want praises from your husband, make a habit of praising your husband, when he does right. Take care of your husband because he deserves as much care as you do. One of the toughest things to handle in a relationship. But love makes it all count. Train your husband and bask in the love of your union.