A mother of groom speech is always a sweet moment that guests look forward to. However, it hasn’t always been that way. Traditionally, it’s the bride’s parents that make the speeches. Over recent years, the formality surrounding weddings has loosened up a bit, giving brides and grooms plenty of new options to tailor their unique wedding experience. Opening up the floor to new speakers is a relatively new trend, but it’s been very well received. So much so that it’s a trend that we can assume will stick around for a long time.
Now that you know how popular mother of the groom speeches is, you’re probably wondering how to write the speech. Well, we have all the advice you need. Stay with us for a complete guide to writing a mother of the groom speech.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does the mother of the groom give a speech?
Yes, the mother of the groom can deliver a speech. A short while ago mothers of the bride were relegated to the wedding reception, but today this is perfectly normal.
How Long Should a Mother of the Groom Speech Be?
The mother of the groom’s speeches should be 3 to 5 minutes. It’s always best to follow the rhythm of other speeches so that yours is not too short or too long.
What should the mother of the groom say at the rehearsal dinner?
The best mother of the groom’s speech acknowledges the man he has become, welcoming the bride to the family, and includes a humorous anecdote from his childhood.
How to Write a Mother of the Groom Speech
Like anyone delivering a speech, the mother of the groom is going to wonder what topics you should touch on during a mother of the groom speech. You want to be respectful. You want to be funny. How do you accomplish this while being funny, memorable, and sweet?
We’re not going to tell you exactly what to say, but we do have the structure needed to check all of the mother-of-the-groom speech boxes. This mother of the groom speech template will point you in the right direction.
- Introduce yourself
Not all of the guests are going to know who you are. The first thing you should communicate is your relationship with the couple. This will provide context to the rest of your speech.
- Thank wedding guests
No inspirational speech from the mother of a groom can go without acknowledging the guests. Not only does this make them feel good, but it also converts you from talking at them to talking to them.
- Include your memories
Including an anecdote really drives the mother of the groom’s speech. You can choose a funny story from when they were growing up or a cute story about the moment you realized he would make a perfect husband.
- Don’t forget about your son’s partner
Welcoming the bride to the family is always a sweet moment. Take advantage of this opportunity to express when you first realized they were destined to be together or the moment you knew she was part of the family. It’s always wise to also acknowledge her parents by congratulating them for raising such a fine woman.
- Explain Why Their Marriage Makes You Happy
Although this portion of the mother of the groom’s speech is about why you are happy, it’s still about the bride and groom. Use statements that explain how proud you are that they will be so happy or that this is their dream coming true.
- Add jokes and be funny
You don’t want to be cruel, but you absolutely should include a few jokes in your mother of the groom’s speech. You can include the bride if you know her well but should otherwise stick to the groom when poking fun.
- Keep it short
When it comes to mother of the groom speeches, less is often more. Make your statements without wandering. If needed, practice your speech so that it’s concise.
- Give some unique advice for newlyweds
Deliver your best well wishes to the couple. Provide some life lessons that will help them navigate the trials and tribulations of marriage. This will finish your mother of the groom’s speech on the perfect note.
What NOT to Say in a Mother of the Groom Speech
There are a few topics that are taboo in mother of the groom speeches. These topics usually embarrass the bride and groom, the guests, and the speaker. Pretty much everyone. Here is what to avoid.
- The negative situation of the son
It’s okay to poke a little fun at your son as long as it’s mild and has good intentions. Tread carefully, however. Going a little too far could shine a light on uncomfortable situations that are making him feel like a bad person.
- Embarrassed the son’s partner
If your pike on the bride, it’s likely to make her feel like she’s not good enough for your son. Not only will this embarrassment hurt her at the moment, but it will also become a lifelong obstacle to overcome.
- Don’t add stories about ex
Even if it’s in a negative light, stories about ex-boyfriends and girlfriends have no business at a wedding. Nothing good can come of this and it almost always ruins the vibe of the reception.
Tips To Remember
If you have never delivered a speech, as the mother of the groom you will appreciate these tips. These will help you stay focused, keep your structure, and connect with the audience.
- Ensure that you are not too drunk
It’s common to assume that a drink or two will help calm nerves. This is not true. If anything a few drinks will cause you to lose focus and will probably add to your nerves. A few too many drinks will make you sloppy and possibly make you forget the rules about avoiding taboos.
- Practice many times
Reading directly from your notes is never a good speech. Mothers of the groom are encouraged to practice speaking in front of a mirror and friends. This will help establish a tempo and commit your points to memory.
- Use note cards
You shouldn’t read from your notes, but you should have your talking points written down. Nerves often get the better of us and cause us to lose track of what we are saying. A few written reminders will keep you on point.
- Express your feelings
Weddings are emotional events. Feel free to smile, laugh, and cry. Don’t hold back. It’s very much appropriate to emote while you deliver the mother of the groom’s speech.
Mother Of The Groom Speech Template
There are a few speech styles to consider. These mother-of-the-groom speech templates provide guidance for the 3 most common scenarios.
Short mother of the groom speech
A short mother of the groom’s speech is typically under 3 minutes long. A short speech is a great goal to have as most speeches suffer from running too long. There are lots to say, and scaling it back to the bare minimum will keep things punchy and concise.
The trick is self-editing. Once you write your first draft, analyze each complete thought and try to find the quickest way to relay those thoughts.
If your son met his bride at a sporting event, your mother of the groom speech could start a little something like this:
When John was a little boy, a third-grade teacher taught him how to dribble a basketball. Once he got good at it he joined the basketball team and made a bunch of new friends. Sports taught him the value of teamwork.
This is a nice story but could be much more concise.
- “When John was a little boy, a third-grade teacher…” These are redundant statements. By stating that John was in the second grade it becomes immediately evident that he was also a child at the time.
- “Once he got good at it he joined the basketball team…” This detail does not add a lesson to the story.
- “Sports taught him the value of teamwork.” This is a nice thought, but it’s a little disjointed from the rest of the paragraph.
When you consider all of these factors the new sentence becomes:
John joined the basketball team in second grade. This introduced him to a lot of new friends and taught him the value of teamwork.
Half the amount of words relay the same information without the potential for confusion. Use this technique with your jokes, your anecdotes, and your well-wishes.
Motivational speech from the mother of the groom to the bride
The second mother of the groom’s speech style is motivational. The entire point of the speech is to deliver sage advice about how to nurture love and facilitate a successful marriage. This style requires attention to balance. On one hand, you want to be realistic about the difficulties that marriages endure. On the other, you don’t want to be all gloom and doom.
One thing to avoid is stories like “Sarah and Dave were just as happy as you when they first started out. Now they are divorced and Dave doesn’t have access to the kids anymore.”
This is not advice. This does not help the couple start off on the right foot. Instead, provide advice that helps the bride and groom avoid fights and misunderstandings. Explain that a marriage takes work.
“Marriage is not a 50/50 relationship. It’s 100/100. Your vows today mean that you will always give your all and that, if either of you isn’t giving 100%, the other will be there to support you and bring you back up. Marriage is a partnership that both participants need to contribute to every day.”
- In short, your speech should include examples of staying true to the couple’s vows. Examples of struggles your marriage has endured will serve to provide guidance on how they can avoid it, or manage it if it happens.
- The focus should be on love and cooperation, not warnings.
- You can also consider providing practical advice. Most couples are aware of the significance and value of love but are ill-prepared for life’s surprises.
- Marriage advice about raising a family:
“Marriage is the beginning of a family. You will never be 100% ready for a child, but the two of you have all of the love needed to successfully raise a son or daughter.”
- Marriage advice about finances:
“Love is more important than money, but money does play a huge role in your future. You are accountable to each other and should be transparent with your spending, savings, debts, and investments.”
- Marriage advice about careers:
“In marriage, your family comes first. Although your jobs pay the bills, they do not define who you are.”
These types of advice can, and should, be blunt. Sugar coating the realities of life only serves to dilute the message.
Touching mother of the groom speech
An emotionally deep mother of the groom’s speech is always a winner. Someone who has experienced a lifetime of marriage and is overjoyed that her son is about to experience the same thing. Just make sure to have the tissue ready.
The touching of the mother of the groom’s speeches is based on emotion. They talk about feelings, relationships, and the future. They acknowledge personality traits
- If you are in a healthy marriage, this is a good time to express how important it is to set a good example.
“After 40 years of marriage, your father and I still hold hands. It warms my heart to know that one day you will be standing in front of your children feeling the same way.”
- If the groom’s father has passed away or is otherwise absent, you can speak on his behalf.
“Your father would be so proud of the man you have become. He would say that you are strong, intelligent, and treat your new wife with respect. He would say that he admires who you are today and what you will become tomorrow.”
- If you don’t know the bride well:
“I’ve only met Sarah recently. I can’t say much about her as a person but by the changes I can see in my son, I know she’s perfect. He’s happy. He’s excited. He has a renewed zest for life and is constantly talking about the future. Anyone who can do that to my son must be a saint and is very much part of this family.”
The key to a successful touching speech is to speak from the heart. Use your personal experiences and anecdotes to tell the story of how your son arrived at this point in his life. Explain the journey that both you, your son, and your new daughter-in-law have developed and how many more experiences they have to look forward to.
Stay true to yourself. If you’re known to be a funny person, incorporate jokes into your mother of the groom speech. If you are naturally emotional, let it shine. Sticking to your structure and practicing your speech will make it good. Staying true to yourself and allowing your personality to shine will make it great!