Marriage is a beautiful thing to go through, but we cannot deny that lots of people avoid this. We will attribute it largely to what changes when you get married, which youngsters aren’t ready for. It begins with what changes legally when you get married and proceeds from there.
All of a sudden, it looks like your life is on a spiral and you can’t catch your breath. But it’s a good thing, depending on how well informed and prepared you are about these changes. You’ll find out that there’s a lot of what changes when you get married financially, socially, and emotionally.
Before you walk down the aisle and sign those papers, it’s best to prepare beforehand for the possible changes. And if you’re not aware of what changes will occur in marriage, this is an information guidepost. Take a pen and note down these ten important changes.
1. There is a shift in identity
You see, once a person gets married, they begin to think for two. Two souls are well intertwined into one, and two people now work together. In the beginning, it could create a kind of identity crisis. This is one of the major changes that occur when you get married.
You begin to say things like “we”, “us”, etc. You’re so into each other that you cannot do a thing without thinking of the second person. When you were single, everything was about you. You want some food, you grab it, but now you must think of the other. You’re talking, you mention them, and you consider them.
At some point, you try to see who you are outside of that marriage. This is because there’s been an identity shift.
2. You become more communicative
One of what changes when you get married is communication. Even if you’re the least sensitive person, marriage makes you communicate and connect. You now have another person in your life, so self-absorption will not fly. For peace and harmony, learn to ask questions and in a concerned manner.
When you notice a thing, rather than frown, ignore or get on the defensive; ask questions. Make your spouse come out to you in a heart to heart. And if you are the one who has a need, speak up. Your spouse is no mind reader. Seamless communication between a couple helps smoothed lots of potential problems. So, communication is one thing to learn in marriage.
3. The last name changes
Picking a city like Indiana to marry? This amongst others is what changes when you get married in Indiana and some other states. This is a very hard phase. It feels as if you’re taking off a part of you and replacing with it another. This is one of the things to discuss before getting married.
The good part is that you don’t have to do it immediately. Do it only when you’re comfortable too. In the case of discussing it with your spouse, you only need a couple of documents to effect that. Although, a tough one, it holds quite a few advantages. This is also one of what changes on your taxes when you get married.
While some brides would change immediately, others use it only domestically. They maintain their maiden name professionally.
4. The sex game changes
Most couples have an explosive sex life during courtship, but it’s a different ball game afterward. It gets either better or worse, with valid reasons. In marriage, sex becomes better because the barrier between the two of you no more exist. There’s this new confidence that you both have in each other.
You’re secure in the fact you love each other enough to spend forever together. And that fuels the passion and romance.
On the flip side, dry spells could occur which shouldn’t make you fret. It becomes a case of quality sex over quantity. This doesn’t mean you’ve fallen out of love with each other. But you may be quite overwhelmed with life’s demands. In these times, hugs, kisses, touches, and intimate discussions are beautiful ways to bond. At these times, your souls connect.
5. There is financial accountability and responsibility
Accountability and responsibility are what changes when you get married financially. Not like anybody will stop you from spending your hard-earned money. But you will do so within reason. You’ll do so knowing that you are not alone anymore and you must plan for the future.
Many couples split the bills or plan for projects together. This is especially if they plan to have kids at some point in their lives. As such, they will operate a joint account away from their accounts. This is where percentages of his and her money will go into. And before spending on that business, college fund, car, house payment, they will plan together.
6. You get some security
A couple of what changes when you get married in Illinois and other places is security. Security means many things in this context. In the case of Illinois, you get health insurance amongst other things. You’re now under the protection of a family.
In another vein, there is a sense of security because you now have a ride or die. One person, you can turn to, and they’d have your back every time. When you’re down, there’s someone you can readily talk to. When you have a horrible day, you can’t wait to get home.
Knowing you’re not alone in this cold world give a heavy sense of security. Not everyone is opportune to have one great friend forever.
7. There’s a change in priorities
Yes, the girl’s night out and ladies destination vacay will happen. But unlike before when you could just up and leave, now, you must consider. This scenario amongst other things will occur after marriage. You will find yourself putting your spouse first almost every time. And a good spouse will do the same for you.
They become your priority and you want to see them happy. You want to push them and make them shine. You want to take care of them and protect them. The random things that held your interests begin to wane if your spouse isn’t part of it. Things don’t hold so much interest for you anymore unless your spouse is well involved.
But be careful that you don’t lose yourself. In your love for your spouse, make sure not to lose the element that makes you tick. Your career, loyal friends and all. It’s wise to maintain a healthy balance.
8. Your time must be well shared
When you were single, it was you, you! Jump off the bed, and off to work. From your job, you go straight to the pub with some friends. And then the next day, you’re on a business trip somewhere. Well, things are about to change.
The minute you say “I do”, your time stops being your own. You will factor your spouse into your time and make sure of it. You’ll spend quality time with them and make them feel your warmth. Failure to do this amounts to neglect which can break down a marriage.
You can’t be truly married and living single.
9. Reduced level of privacy
Marriage, true marriage is sharing. The sharing of bodies, souls and even possessions. They become the person you trust most in the world. So, you hide nothing from them. If you never talked about your challenges while single, in marriage, learn to share.
And for possessions, once there’s no secret, there’s no privacy. They have access to your phones, emails, computers, and all. This is because you trust them to protect you and never take advantage of it. This is something you may not have done as a single person. But in a good marriage, your spouse must know you the most.
10. A new title
Many women don’t make it official. But once a woman marries, she’s no more a “Miss”. This is not even negotiable. Whether you take the title or not, you become a “Mrs”. This sounds weird, especially in the first few months or even a year. You can’t get used to being called a “Mrs”. Most brides even forget they are one. So, they tend to go with the “Ms.” title, as that doesn’t sound too altered.
Well, that is one of the many gifts that marriage bestows on a woman. And even if it makes you feel weird and disconnected, bear it with pride.
Although a load of what changes when you get married can be intimidating. When you’re with the one you love, all that tension flies out the window. The best bet is to arm yourself with as much information and work through it. It helps you prepare your mind for the future, and this is the essence of this post. We’ve outlined what changes legally when you get married, down to the financial bit. We know this will help.