Unfortunate Wedding Night Truths & Alternatives

unfortunate wedding night truths
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elisabettalillyred via Instagram

The wedding is complete and everyone is still raving over your delicious food, a stunning gown, and beautiful ceremony. Now the much-anticipated wedding night has arrived. Most couples have indulged in doing the deed before the big day, so being together the first time as husband and wife can be wonderfully intimate and comfortable. However, despite your expectations, things may not go quite the way you planned on your wedding night.


What can you expect? Here are some things to think about when it comes to Wedding night truths.

Your Dress Maybe Beautiful, But…

Your gorgeous gown stole the show and looked fabulous on you, but now that you want to take it off, it is stealing the romance. There was always someone there assisting you before the wedding night and they knew what they were doing. Take a deep breath, ask your hubby for help. If he has a hard time too at least you can laugh about it together. No one talks about this tricky part of the night but be patient with yourself and with your husband. You both are probably tired. You don’t have to succumb to the pressure of consummating your marriage tonight.

Don’t worry if you find yourselves too pooped by the time you get out of your gown, there are many more nights you will have together for romance. Enjoy cuddling while getting a well-deserved rest and rejuvenation. Besides, you are officially honeymooning and the romance can pick back up in the morning.
*Remember you can practice getting out of your dress alone, once you select your gown during your fitting. Ask the attendant to show you how to get out of your dress unassisted and then try.


Your Bridal Lingerie May be Gorgeous, But…

Maybe you are too tired to fumble with your fancy suspender belt, plunge bra, and furry heels. Perhaps your husband is a bit tipsy or oblivious to your newly acquired sexy nighty to notice and just wants you without the bells and whistles, or even more surprising just passes out. If that is the case save these romantic yet cumbersome articles of sexiness for your honeymoon night when you both are ready for another more intimate full-scale production. Tonight may need to be a cozy intermission. In all fairness, you’ve both had a long day and your wedding responsibilities are only just now complete. Instead of feeling down or disappointed, take the lingerie with you on your honeymoon and wear it then. He’s guaranteed to be more aware of you and your lingerie in a less stressed atmosphere.


You Manage to Consummate Your Marriage, But…

Too much alcohol along with sleepless nights that led up to your big day can all catch up to you, causing your wedding night romance to become fuzzy at best. In fact, you may not remember it at all! You might have been just a bit too fond of the champagne served at your reception. One thing for sure, you’ll have more opportunities to kindle the flame. Your journey together has just begun and the excitement may need a jump start but that is no reason to feel bad or be disappointed. It happens to more couples than you would imagine. For months before the wedding, you both were probably under a lot of stress. You may have been dieting and you probably haven’t slept much in the few days prior to taking your vows. Whatever the problem, don’t be too hard on yourself for your hazy recollection.


You Didn’t Quite Make it to the Sex Part, But…

According to a recently-conducted survey of newlyweds, about half of them admitted to not consummating their marriage on their wedding night. It’s been one of the most solid wedding night truths that couples invariably had sex on their wedding night, but that’s just not the case.

Often throwing a wedding is like running a marathon. All the hard work you have been doing since the moment of that sweet proposal to the walk down the aisle sealed with a champagne toast may require a pass out, snoring and snooze of a wedding night. Although it is nothing to be ashamed of, nobody besides the two of you will know. Many other married couples wouldn’t be surprised if you shared this truth with them.

Sex is a fun, comforting, and exciting part of marriage, but a night without it, especially your wedding night shows that your sparks fly far beyond physical gratification and appeal. The intimacy of falling asleep together and waking up in each other’s arms will most likely make for a passion-filled morning and honeymoon. Try not to dwell on an expectation and realize the sizzle is still there!


You Made it to the Sex Part, But…

Wedding night sex, despite the hype, is probably not going to be the greatest sex you’ve ever had. In another of the debunked wedding night truths, wedding night sex can be greatly affected by the stress and intensity of your day.

Okay! Now, this was not part of anyone’s wedding night idea. Sex was expected to be magical, romantic, and passionate, but instead, it was exhausting uncomfortable, and mechanical. Don’t put pressure on this intimate night. Sometimes too much pressure leads to poor performance. Like dressing up for prom and finding out the best part of the whole event was done before you arrived. The letdown can break your heart, but there is another way to look at it. There is still much more time to make up for this shortcoming.

Allow both of your energies to be restored and keep your confidence intact. Whatever didn’t work can be fixed by talking to your partner or trying some new or different positions. Have fun with each other. Try not to force perfection and allow time to learn how the two of you can connect. It could take a few times, but chances are the next time will be much better, especially if you were both just tired. Just like trying on wedding gowns, trying different styles may surprise you and totally shift what you thought would be perfect to the unique fit for you.

Wedding Night Tips

Make plans but remain flexible and forgiving. You can have rose petals and champagne waiting by your bedside with chocolates stowed in the suite refrigerator just in case. If you find yourselves exhausted or uninterested in any of the planned goodies, skip them. Keeping the petals beside the bed instead of all over the bed may make them useful on your honeymoon instead. Set the scene with aromatic stimulation and music if that is what you like. You have a lifetime of planning so get used to creating a sexy scene. Treat yourselves like celebrities and stock your room with all the goodies you both enjoy. Give yourselves options and don’t feel like you must use everything on that first night. Pace yourselves.


Alternative Wedding Night Plans

Instead of expecting sex, plan to eat cake. Feeding each other may just turn you on anyway. Plan to relax and recap on some of the best moments you have had together. Sleep. Maybe you want to meet family or friends in the morning for brunch or you will be dashing off for a flight. Rest can be a happy alternative if you can communicate with each other so neither of you is left out in the cold. If you find yourself wide awake while your groom is sound asleep, curl up next to him and recap with a scrapbook or pictures from your big day if you have some. Make yourself a nightcap to put yourself to sleep or get a massage or room service if the night is still young.